Edges to Intimacy (& Attachment styles) Exercise

posted 3 Jul 2014, 10:36 by Mark O'Connell   [ updated 3 Jul 2014, 10:37 ]

Edges to Intimacy Innerwork— Edges to intimacy can take place on both sides of relationship, and it can help to have an awareness on the blocks which are

 The purpose of this exercise is to explore some of the belief systems that hold you back from greater intimacy.

1.     Think of a child you care for whom you would wish for more intimacy or connection with.

2.     Finding blocks - What are some of the ways you stop yourself from becoming more intimate?  Where do you hold back, for example verbally or physically expressing intimacy? Where is the block located, in your heart, your genitals, your throat, your whole being?  Go into your body and find a story related to that block you tell yourself about this person or about relationship in general that keeps you distant from them.

3.     Finding the story - Where does the power of this story come from? Your body, your family, your culture, your history or collective history?

4.     Processing the story  - Represent and give voice to all of these different parts empowering the block and the voices desiring to open up and be more intimate.  Go back and forth and facilitate with all voices. Why was the wall to intimacy originally put up, maybe this generation or 10 back? What purpose does the wall now serve? Make a conscious decision what to do with the wall or how would you revise the story

5.     Follow-up - After you process the wall go back and interact with your dyad partner playing the person you would like to love more or experience more love with.  How have you changed?   What do you need from your partner to help facilitate this next step?